Advice

I've been hooking up with a co-worker for four months, but I really want to be his girlfriend. We had sex on our second date, and after that, our dates stopped being dinner and turned into my going straight to his place. I really want to ask how he feels about me, but I'm afraid of scaring him off. If I'm just a booty call, I'll be hurt! (Ask Amy)

My advice: Look, if a guy can get it for free, he's gonna stop paying for dates. Trust me. Unless he really likes you, in which case, he'll want to go out and do things in public with you. This is not the case here. Stop going over to his place (I imagine he's too lazy to come to your house, right?) and go out with other guys. And pick up a copy of the book "The Rules." They work. That book was the best $0.25 I ever spent at a yard sale.

It happened again last night — I had to change my restaurant chair position to avoid seeing some patrons eating their food. Where I'm from, we were taught to hold the fork in our left hand and the knife in the right. The knife cuts the food and the left hand elegantly brings it to the mouth.

Here I observe that people keep their left hands shackled to their laps most of the time. They only use the fork. They use their knife on the right hand to cut food; then drop the knife to the side of their plate and return their left hands to their laps. The food is brought to the mouth by using forks held in the right hand.

Having lived in different countries, we noticed that most people elsewhere seem to know how to use dinner implements properly. Do you have any explanation for the strange table manners in this country? — Disgusted (Ask Amy)

My advice: Dear lord, why in the world did you waste time writing this? This is what your problem is that you need advice on? I know someone whose child was kidnapped and taken to a foreign country, and you worry about how people use their freaking utensils? Who are you? Lady Catherine from Pride and Prejudice?